If a slasher wrote a movie...
May. 31st, 2005 10:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
perseph2hades...it would be Plata Quemada (English title: Burnt Money). Except for one major little thing, which I'll mention at the end.
The one on the left is Nene (which means "little boy") and the one on the right is Angel (pronounced "ahn-hel", which in any language obviously means *hair on fire* *douses self*).
This is an Argentinian movie (based on a true story) about two men, Angel (Eduardo Noriega) and El Nene (Leonardo Sbaraglia), who are Bonnie and Clyde-type bank robbers known as The Twins. Nene is an ex-convict, the black sheep of an upper class family, and Angel "wasn't even from here", as the narrator cleverly puts it.
Angel hears voices, Nene only cares about Angel. And yes, my friends, they are lovers.
(Warnings: Spoilers. Lots of caps, R-rated. May not be work-safe)
The sad thing about caps is that you can't see Angel panting as he stares in near awe at Nene. Nene just sucked his brains out (which we don't see!!) through means I'm sure Angel wouldn't have previously believed.
Nene, ever cool, lights up.
Angel, meanwhile, is still trying to remember his name.
He comes over to stuff his flask into Nene's pocket, which is clearly his own way of penetration. Nene watches him do it.
While I go change my panties.
Then they proceed to have cigarette/hand-porn sex.
*blinks slowly* Evil, right? Jesus!
That night, Nene takes Angel home. It's true love, and they're inseparable from then on.
*reaches for fire extinguisher* <--- I beg your collective pardon, but I'm going to be doing that a lot.
Angel is the angstier of the two, clearly devastated by his feelings for Nene. Being prone to depression and the whole hearing voices thing, the way he quietly depends on Nene, staring covertly and sometimes overtly at him, breathing heavily...it's.just.fucking.brutal. One must have spare extinguishers, spare panties, and plenty of ice on hand.
For instance, on the train, they sit apart from each other because dear GOD the heat between them is such that sitting side by side would derail the train.
At this point in the movie, about nine minutes in,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
elaur (whom I was watching with) and I are pretty much done. Much, MUCH wailing. elaur understands Spanish, but if it weren't for the subtitles (which were hard to read with my eyes crossing), I wouldn't have any idea what was going on plot-wise.
They're contracted to do a big heist, and that's where things start to get a bit difficult between them, as Angel feels the need to abstain before such a big gig (remember, Angel isn't quite stable). The angst is awful for Nene.
But lord, you can understand why Angel makes that decision. I think he was afraid he would incinerate in the middle of a ripping orgasm. People are depending on them, after all.
During the robbery, things don't go exactly as planned. Angel is shot.
Nene rushes him to a safe house and does what he's best at. Taking care of Angel.
The hair clutching. *weeps*
While Nene takes out the bullet, Angel says he wants nothing for the pain...then proceeds to scream his head off. You wonder why he didn't take the analgesic, then you realize what he secretly wants is for Nene to manhandle him.
Then give him some love.
*&%^$!!!@!!!god*&*gibbers*%#@^&^*bursts*
Yeah, no kidding, Angel.
While Angel recuperates, the whole abstainance thing is beginning to wear on Nene.
"Nene was there staring."
"Just now? At me? I told you he was a fag."
"You think all good-looking guys are fags."
"Wait a minute, don't underestimate me. I have a good ass too, remember that."
"Go on, call him in."
"You'd like a threesome, you little slut."
YES, JACKASS!!!
*cough* Nene is amused.
As time goes on, while they wait for the heat over the robbery to pass, Nene tends to Angel's wound. So much love. The looooove...
But they're still not having sex, because the ordeal hasn't ended.
It's Angel's rule not to have sex during the whole thing, but look at him stare. Towels. I need towels.
While Angel talks through his angst, what they need to do, where they should go, Nene is having a slight meltdown, because uh, n.i.p.p.l.e.
Screw this, he thinks. He starts to unbuckle Angel's pants. Angel seems oblivious...
...but, unfortunately, he's not. And he's not having it. *cries buckets*
Angel suffers.
Nene suffers.
Neither is climbing the other, and I'm fucking ready to strangle someone.
They make it to another hideout, and things seem to be improving between them, and for Angel.
So.freakin.pretty.
But the good times don't last. Soon it's clear that more waiting around in some dive of an apartment for the cops to stop looking for them is driving Angel into a worse state. Nene is at a loss for what to do, except to just be there for him. *ggnnn*
The final showdown with the cops is riddled with bullets, loud noise, etc. But who cares. Angel takes his shirt off.
He wears nothing but his pants and that holster that's obviously made for hard riding and even harder grabbing.
Yes, love. You just keep smiling at Nene like that.
Nene has to douse himself to not catch on fire.
Why? Because Angel is taking his pants off and setting them on fire. Do you sense a theme here?
Say nothing, people. Say.nothing.
The battle with the cops gets more heated, until there's a lull. While they lie there waiting for the next onslaught, Angel finally finds some peace.
The voices are gone, he says. Nene is ecstatic.
"You only have to lean on me and I get a hard on," Nene says. "It's mathematical."
Angel then proceeds to show him exactly how to do the math.
But for obvious reasons, the middle of a siege is not the time. *cries buckets*
Um. Yes, please.
Things keep getting bleaker for them, and they decide to burn the money and free themselves of the burden. It's cathartic, for Angel especially.
Before the end, it's Angel's turn to hold Nene. And he does it well. *bawls*
The end.
So you've probably noticed what that little missing thing in the movie is: No Angel/Nene sex.
Now, I'm not saying I expected sex by default, but in the context of the movie it makes no sense. They show Cuervo drilling his girlfriend into the wall in that scene where Nene watches, they show Nene in an NC-17 rated sex scene with a woman he picked up. Yet between the two people the movie is about, nothing.
When you take into account the way these men pant after each other, the holding and rubbing and touching that sets one's hair on fire, the moaning for each other, and the soul-searing eyefucking going on between them, the movie becomes, dare I say it, a very painful tease.
I'm not made of that non-stick stuff they put on frying pans, you know. I'm flesh and blood female. Things burn on me. Which is why, I-- I just don't think I'm going to be buying this movie and have it sit and tease me on my shelf. *cries* *strokes the lovely caps*
Edit: I lightened the first bunch of caps.
The one on the left is Nene (which means "little boy") and the one on the right is Angel (pronounced "ahn-hel", which in any language obviously means *hair on fire* *douses self*).
This is an Argentinian movie (based on a true story) about two men, Angel (Eduardo Noriega) and El Nene (Leonardo Sbaraglia), who are Bonnie and Clyde-type bank robbers known as The Twins. Nene is an ex-convict, the black sheep of an upper class family, and Angel "wasn't even from here", as the narrator cleverly puts it.
Angel hears voices, Nene only cares about Angel. And yes, my friends, they are lovers.
(Warnings: Spoilers. Lots of caps, R-rated. May not be work-safe)
The sad thing about caps is that you can't see Angel panting as he stares in near awe at Nene. Nene just sucked his brains out (which we don't see!!) through means I'm sure Angel wouldn't have previously believed.
Nene, ever cool, lights up.
Angel, meanwhile, is still trying to remember his name.
He comes over to stuff his flask into Nene's pocket, which is clearly his own way of penetration. Nene watches him do it.
While I go change my panties.
Then they proceed to have cigarette/hand-porn sex.
*blinks slowly* Evil, right? Jesus!
That night, Nene takes Angel home. It's true love, and they're inseparable from then on.
*reaches for fire extinguisher* <--- I beg your collective pardon, but I'm going to be doing that a lot.
Angel is the angstier of the two, clearly devastated by his feelings for Nene. Being prone to depression and the whole hearing voices thing, the way he quietly depends on Nene, staring covertly and sometimes overtly at him, breathing heavily...it's.just.fucking.brutal. One must have spare extinguishers, spare panties, and plenty of ice on hand.
For instance, on the train, they sit apart from each other because dear GOD the heat between them is such that sitting side by side would derail the train.
At this point in the movie, about nine minutes in,
elaur (whom I was watching with) and I are pretty much done. Much, MUCH wailing. elaur understands Spanish, but if it weren't for the subtitles (which were hard to read with my eyes crossing), I wouldn't have any idea what was going on plot-wise.They're contracted to do a big heist, and that's where things start to get a bit difficult between them, as Angel feels the need to abstain before such a big gig (remember, Angel isn't quite stable). The angst is awful for Nene.
But lord, you can understand why Angel makes that decision. I think he was afraid he would incinerate in the middle of a ripping orgasm. People are depending on them, after all.
During the robbery, things don't go exactly as planned. Angel is shot.
Nene rushes him to a safe house and does what he's best at. Taking care of Angel.
The hair clutching. *weeps*
While Nene takes out the bullet, Angel says he wants nothing for the pain...then proceeds to scream his head off. You wonder why he didn't take the analgesic, then you realize what he secretly wants is for Nene to manhandle him.
Then give him some love.
*&%^$!!!@!!!god*&*gibbers*%#@^&^*bursts*
Yeah, no kidding, Angel.
While Angel recuperates, the whole abstainance thing is beginning to wear on Nene.
"Nene was there staring."
"Just now? At me? I told you he was a fag."
"You think all good-looking guys are fags."
"Wait a minute, don't underestimate me. I have a good ass too, remember that."
"Go on, call him in."
"You'd like a threesome, you little slut."
YES, JACKASS!!!
*cough* Nene is amused.
As time goes on, while they wait for the heat over the robbery to pass, Nene tends to Angel's wound. So much love. The looooove...
But they're still not having sex, because the ordeal hasn't ended.
It's Angel's rule not to have sex during the whole thing, but look at him stare. Towels. I need towels.
While Angel talks through his angst, what they need to do, where they should go, Nene is having a slight meltdown, because uh, n.i.p.p.l.e.
Screw this, he thinks. He starts to unbuckle Angel's pants. Angel seems oblivious...
...but, unfortunately, he's not. And he's not having it. *cries buckets*
Angel suffers.
Nene suffers.
Neither is climbing the other, and I'm fucking ready to strangle someone.
They make it to another hideout, and things seem to be improving between them, and for Angel.
So.freakin.pretty.
But the good times don't last. Soon it's clear that more waiting around in some dive of an apartment for the cops to stop looking for them is driving Angel into a worse state. Nene is at a loss for what to do, except to just be there for him. *ggnnn*
The final showdown with the cops is riddled with bullets, loud noise, etc. But who cares. Angel takes his shirt off.
He wears nothing but his pants and that holster that's obviously made for hard riding and even harder grabbing.
Yes, love. You just keep smiling at Nene like that.
Nene has to douse himself to not catch on fire.
Why? Because Angel is taking his pants off and setting them on fire. Do you sense a theme here?
Say nothing, people. Say.nothing.
The battle with the cops gets more heated, until there's a lull. While they lie there waiting for the next onslaught, Angel finally finds some peace.
The voices are gone, he says. Nene is ecstatic.
"You only have to lean on me and I get a hard on," Nene says. "It's mathematical."
Angel then proceeds to show him exactly how to do the math.
But for obvious reasons, the middle of a siege is not the time. *cries buckets*
Um. Yes, please.
Things keep getting bleaker for them, and they decide to burn the money and free themselves of the burden. It's cathartic, for Angel especially.
Before the end, it's Angel's turn to hold Nene. And he does it well. *bawls*
The end.
So you've probably noticed what that little missing thing in the movie is: No Angel/Nene sex.
Now, I'm not saying I expected sex by default, but in the context of the movie it makes no sense. They show Cuervo drilling his girlfriend into the wall in that scene where Nene watches, they show Nene in an NC-17 rated sex scene with a woman he picked up. Yet between the two people the movie is about, nothing.
When you take into account the way these men pant after each other, the holding and rubbing and touching that sets one's hair on fire, the moaning for each other, and the soul-searing eyefucking going on between them, the movie becomes, dare I say it, a very painful tease.
I'm not made of that non-stick stuff they put on frying pans, you know. I'm flesh and blood female. Things burn on me. Which is why, I-- I just don't think I'm going to be buying this movie and have it sit and tease me on my shelf. *cries* *strokes the lovely caps*
Edit: I lightened the first bunch of caps.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 06:59 pm (UTC)Don't answer that.
Pfew!
Oh and thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 07:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 07:01 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 07:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 07:16 pm (UTC)But on the other hand... God. Eduardo Noriega. And boy touching. *drools*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 07:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 07:45 pm (UTC)Oh man, seriously, that is gorgeous. Seems too good to be true! Dirty manlove with nudity and guns and blood and comfort! *goes in search*
THANKS!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 07:49 pm (UTC)*Loves*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 08:20 pm (UTC)A flipbook would be perfect.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 08:13 pm (UTC)Oh lord. Must fine and watch. Soon.
And did you say it's all in spanish? The fucking hotness of these two combined with them speaking in another language? ohmygodthatwillKILLme.
Though I am studying Spanish right now... I could always watch this and claim that it's to help me understand the language... *cackles*
*nuzzles you lovingly* Thanks for the caps, by the way. Lord.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 12:05 am (UTC)I'm studying Spanish too...and we were just given an assignment to watch a Spanish-y movie.
*drums fingers* Excellent...
*smooches*
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 08:17 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 09:07 pm (UTC)the way these men pant after each other, the holding and rubbing and touching that sets one's hair on fire, the moaning for each other, and the soul-searing eyefucking going on between them
*sits in a bucket of ice water*
Yah and the blood and dirt and holsters... and now my hair is on fire.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 09:28 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 09:29 pm (UTC)perv overstudy this some more.(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:09 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 09:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:11 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 10:47 pm (UTC)I... I need help. I have hysterical paralysis!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:13 am (UTC)And I've got a Combat Search and Rescue post lined up for you in
*loads up more perving ammo* mwhahahah!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 11:04 pm (UTC)I'm really glad you capped this gorgeous movie!
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 11:10 pm (UTC)That and the suit!porn. Gah. All those lovely sixties suits.
In the opening scene, I was never entirely sure what they had just finished doing, but your theory makes complete sense, considering what Nene gets up to later -- you know, the bathroom non-con.
*snert*
I'm sure that young man was hoping to live through it if only to tell someone about it.
I think the tease may have been caused by some form of censorship. We never see their lips touch directly, but we get insinuated to death. Perhaps explicit man/man love can't get past the censors in Argentina?
The line "You think all good looking men are fags" is absolutely the best homophobic put-down of all time. And it's so TRUE.
*cackles*
I'm tempted to buy it. Because Damn.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:24 am (UTC)That's probably what it is, and I bet they didn't bother shooting sex scenes, either. But nowadays I think directors need to remember that they can release different cuts on DVD. Cuts that will sell the movie harder. *cough*
I don't think I'm going to buy it. It's just too much to watch all that fucking going on for everyone else, and not for them. I think it rubs in too much homophobia for my tolerance levels.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-05-31 11:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 12:03 am (UTC)Can I go to Argentina and be a film director? CAN I?!?
just... *DIES*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 12:30 am (UTC)Sho sho pretty.
*whimpers*
~Susan
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 01:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 03:11 am (UTC)*aches!*
*buuuuuuuuuuuuuurns*
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng. How did you survive?! Jeeeeesus. I'm ready to spontaniously combust and I've not even seen the film yet. It's now on my list, though. I may die since you've said it's all a big tease but.... I'm a sucker for angsty, sweaty men.
Why do I do this to myself?
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 04:35 am (UTC)By much wanking.
Do it to yourself for the hours of fantasizing it'll give you. *nods firmly* *nostrils flaring*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 03:29 am (UTC)I'm so horny it hurts. OMG!!! I actually moaned aloud at the spooning. And I swear in the Angel staring cap I was going "OMG NIPPLE!!" and then I scrolled down and OMG NIPPLE!! *dies* The sensuality of this, the stroking and caressing and loving...*writhes endlessly and then ESSSPLODES!*
I don't think I could watch it...no sex and tragic endings just hurt too much. It grates me that so many movies with homosexual characters end badly...I want to see a sexy romantic comedy with two boys, dammit!! *cries*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 04:47 am (UTC)It grates me that so many movies with homosexual characters end badly...
*smites things* My sentiments exactly. For just once, let's not kill them. We know the loving is hot as blazes and could conceivably kill a person, but it's a cliche that has got to be broken.
I was thrilled about the subject matter of the movie incorporating the love between them, which I think is what makes it seem so much like slash.
*pants* Guh. Just had a spasm of horniness.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 03:40 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 04:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 04:01 am (UTC)x_x
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 04:48 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 05:29 am (UTC)O.M.G. *combusts*
and to think Eduardo Noriega's filming with Viggo right now (they are so doing it on every available surface!!!) *dies again*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 03:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 05:32 am (UTC)Life is just so much better with hot men all slavering over each other!
But damn, this movie needing some hawtmanlurve! lol
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 03:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 06:09 am (UTC)Cannot. function...Guh. Those are some AMAZING caps O_O
I wanna see the movie, for obvious reasons, but damn, I'd like there to have been some sex. Disappointing!!
Still, these caps are getting memorised. Thanks for making them n_n
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 03:47 pm (UTC)See the movie anyway, if you can. The heavy breathing, and Nene's moans when he touches Angel are worth it. *chokes and dies*
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 08:31 am (UTC)I dunno about Argentina in particular, but seeing as how homophobic South-Am countries in general are, I'm extremely surprised that this movie got made, even with the "it's all just teasing, we're not *really* having mansex".
Just close your eyes and picture what didn't make it through the censure, because I *know* you can. And then write for us about it :p
(no subject)
Date: 2005-06-01 03:49 pm (UTC)